7 Questions With Maura Graber, Editor of the Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopedia

 

Are you a fan, like me, of "The Gilded Age" TV series and amazed by the elaborate societal rules of the day? Today's subject is an etiquette consult for the show.

Maura J. Graber began her Southern California image enhancement business in 1984. By 1988

she had launched a clothing line sold throughout the U.S.. Graber ventured into the field of etiquette in 1990, and has since taught thousands of students from all walks of life. Schoolchildren, celebrities, CEOs, homeless youths & teens in 'at-risk' groups, have all benefitted from her courses in social graces and the vital skills needed to help them navigate the intricate, and sometimes baffling, social pathways they'll encounter throughout their lives.

Her popular books, seminars on etiquette, antique cutlery, dining history and etiquette history, have made Graber a sought-after authority and speaker. A frequent guest on radio and television news programs since the 1990’s, Graber was a featured regularly on Southern California’s KVCR-PBS for 14 years, where she also produced news segments and gave restaurant reviews. Maura has been covered in hundreds of publications, including The Los Angeles Times, Victoria Magazine, Country

Living, Korea Times, Parenting Magazine and “Historie.”

As matriarch of the Graber Olive House and C.C. Graber Olive Co., she is involved in the historic family olive business, but continues to consult, teach etiquette and write. Most recently she’s worked as a historical etiquette and dining consultant for Julian Fellowes on his hit HBO period drama, The Gilded Age and is the site editor and creator of the online site, Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopedia. Her popular books on antiques, history and dining etiquette are available on Amazon. Her newest book will be available in January 2024. (Blog Link https://etiquipedia.blogspot.com/ )

1. How and when did you get hooked on history? 

I think I always have been hooked on history, even when I was young, though I wasn’t aware of the fact until I was in college. One professor in particular used to stress that he didn’t consider himself a teacher as much as he did a historian. I feel myself thinking more and more that way about myself as I get older.

2. What role does history play or has it played in your personal life? 

Some of my fondest memories of conversations I’ve had throughout my life, are some I had with those born in the latter part of the 19th century and early 20th century. I was always asking much older relatives and their friends about what their lives were like when they were younger. Those stories have stuck with me. I know I used those stories when raising my kids and still use them in my work teaching etiquette. Those stories are really something to learn from, even if many just illustrate how the times and technology may change, but human behavior remains pretty much the same, regardless of the era one lives in.

3. How does history play a part of your professional life/career? 

I started collecting odd, unusual utensils in 1990, when I first opened the RSVP Institute of Etiquette. I started teaching etiquette to children and teens. I found that odd old utensils kept my students interested in setting a table properly and how to eat and serve foods, etc… I soon was teaching adults, putting on 9 course gilded age etiquette dinner seminars in our historic home, and the adults loved my odd utensils, too. Before I knew it, I was in “Victoria” and “Country Living” magazines, the Los Angeles Times and several other publications discussing my antiques. I was asked to lecture for various groups like the DAR and at museums, etc… and still do talks, going into history of all sorts. It’s much more than the dining utensils. 

Now, in my 34th year teaching etiquette, I have written 3 books on the subject of dining history and utensils created and the etiquette used, along with discussing other antiques. People enjoy learning about the history more than I realized. In the past dozen years, along with teaching etiquette classes, my forks and Etiquipedia were featured in an article on the history of the fork in Europe in the European magazine “Historie”, I have given numerous talks on the errors made in period dramas and was a most recently a guest on two Shakespearean history podcast episodes. Since the late-2020, I have been consulting for the HBO series, “The Gilded Age,” by Julian Fellowes. I’m currently finishing up writing my 4th book and brushing up on 19th century aristocratic  etiquette for consulting on a proposed period drama series set in Umbria Italy.

4. Why is studying/knowing history important?

We all can learn so much from the past that would help us avoid making similar mistakes in the future. People tearing down  or removing statues of historical figures, like Teddy Roosevelt for example, are robbing future generations of developing a natural curiosity in who someone was and why he or she was an important figure. You can’t change the past by removing evidence of what happened. You’re simply keeping future generations from that knowledge.

5. What is your favorite period or aspect of history to learn about and why? 

I was always fascinated by the Victorian era. It is such a dichotomy, what with the image that the Victorian era can conjure up of a genteel, and well-mannered age, and the reality of Queen Victoria’s own manners being so horrific. She had some of the worst table manners and social manners in Great Britain at the time! Just recently I have really been studying more on the Georgian and Regency periods, as they were pivotal with regard to the fork becoming the dominant table utensil it is today. 

6. What is Etiquipedia and how did it come to be? 

The Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopedia is a free, online resource with thousands of articles on etiquette and etiquette history. I have no ads or pop-ups. One can look up just about anything regarding manners, etiquette, decorum and diplomacy. The impetus for the site was a conversation I had with an instructor trainee of mine at the end of 2011. I was always encouraging her to research anything she read about etiquette to make certain she wasn’t getting incorrect information. There is a lot of incorrect etiquette online. She was lamenting the fact that there was no place to go online that had everything in one spot. I got the idea to do it then. I came up with a name and set up the blogspot. In the beginning, there were so few posts and I encouraged her to contribute some articles on subjects I had her research. Sadly, she died very suddenly in 2015, so I pushed myself harder to make it a great site. Now, I try to publish one new post each day.

 7. What do you hope your readers and followers take from your work?

I hope my readers benefit in some way from what I post, other than just getting better grades on tests or for classes. About 4 years into creating the site I discovered that links to more than a few articles from my site are on school websites, all around the world. One university in Japan asked if they could reprint a dining history article in their course books. I get numerous questions emailed to me regarding research for class assignments and I’m always happy to help. I also receive DM’s on Instagram. I’ll wake up early in the morning to a DM from a follower out antique shopping or at a flea market in Italy or France, Argentina, etc… complete with photos, asking me what the item was used for and what the etiquette was for it and why. The fact that these people, young and old, around the world are reaching out and asking me about the history of something is truly extraordinary and so unexpected. It’s very flattering, but in the grand scheme of things, I’m just one of millions out there who love sharing history with others.

 

7 Questions With Cheryl Bartlam Du Bois, Author and Screenwriter

 

Cheryl du Bois, a talented writer and screenwriting instructor, has written many books and screenplays during her career. Her BFA from VCU and graduate studies at UCLA and AFI in film and writing have armed her with knowledge and skills in the literary world as well as the entertainment and communications industry. She also holds her USCG Merchant Mariner Captain’s license. After 30 years working in Los Angeles in the entertainment industry, she now resides in Florida writing full-time and driving passenger vessels from Port Canaveral.

1. How and when did you get hooked on history?

I grew up on a property on the outskirts of Richmond, VA in the area that was then considered Fair Oaks. That exact property had served as a hospital camp for injured from the Civil War during the Seven Days Battle and many soldiers had been buried there. I saw strange things as a child and could sense the intensity of history and the past activity around me. My father would take me hunting for Civil War relics and I played with the neighborhood children in the surrounding trenches that had been dug all around the neighborhood. As a teenager we dared each other to walk through the haunted battlefields in the area at night. These experiences intrigued me and when Debra Ann Pawlak submitted a treatment to F.O.C.U.S., my screenwriting Institute, on Sarah Emma Edmonds’ heroic service dressed as a man for the Union Army I was fascinated. In fact, she served as a field nurse/medic in the Battle of Fair Oaks and Malvern Hill––likely on our very property. When Spielberg produced Lincoln and revived filmmaking about the Civil War and it was a success, I called Debra the next day and said let’s write the movie together. First, we wrote a feature screenplay about Edmonds, then decided that we needed to tell more of the story, so we backed into the Historical Novel. Although our books are as close to accurate as we can be, we have to categorize them as Historical Fiction since we include dialogue in them. 

2. What role does history play or has it played in your personal life?

I grew up boating and sailing on the Chesapeake Bay and then I graduated college I moved to Ponce Inlet, Florida to sail professionally. Due to my time spent on the water I was able to study, take the test, and acquire my Six Passenger US Coast Guard Merchant Marine Captain’s license in 1979. I was the second woman on the East coast to receive that license and the first woman had already lost hers due to a terrible accident. They did not want to issue another woman a license and I had to fight the Captain that was doing my oral interview for it, insisting that if the only reason that he was refusing me a license was because I was female, then that was most definitely prejudice. When he finally gave up and pulled out the certificate to issue it, the license read, “…and he can safely be entrusted to operate…”  He looked at it confused and uncertain what to do with it and I simply suggested that he put it in the typewriter and XX out he and type she above it. So, I suppose I was indeed a small part of history in the Marine Industry for furthering women’s future in the industry.

I upgraded my license three years later to 100-ton Ocean Operator and today hold my 100-ton Master Merchant Mariner license to this day. I am in the process of upgrading to 200-ton this year.

Working in the Marine Industry has greatly aided my writing since I have now written 3 marine related historical books––WEST OF THE EQUATOR, and our two newest––THE REVOLUTION: Captain, Pirate, Heroine and THE REVOLUTION II: Seer, Spy, Heroine.

3. How does history play a part of your professional life/career?

In 1986 I moved to Park City, Utah and went to work for Robert Redford assisting with graphic design and marketing for what was then The United States Film Festival (aka The Sundance Film Festival).  Although I had worked in television all through college as a graphic designer and animator, I was totally inspired by Redford to learn screenwriting and start producing film. I wrote a number of screenplays for myself and for hire over the years and then one day I decided to write a book.

My first novel, WEST OF THE EQUATOR: In Search of Paradise, was written about my experiences in the West Indies from 1980-’86, sailing my 50’ Peter Spronk catamaran from St, Maarten to St. Barth almost every day. Built in 1979, today that boat is considered a classic wooden catamaran and can still stand up to racing with modern day cats. I was so fascinated by the vast history of the Greater and Lesser Antilles that I read everything I could find about the area and I included much of the islands’ history in my novel. Today, this book is considered Historical Fiction and is being republished this year as ISLAND FEVER. I then adapted the book for the screen when it was first optioned by the Godfather of Hollywood, Ray Stark and later by Jeff Apple (In The Line Of Fire & The Recruit).

Also, while I was living on my boat with no television and little entertainment, I voraciously read Historical Fiction books by Wilber Smith. I have read most of his 55 titles and see him as one of the most prolific and entertaining HF authors on the market. In fact, I later went on to option his book, THE SUNBIRD, for a major motion picture. Unfortunately, the partner I optioned it with later went out of business.

4. Why is studying/knowing history important?

Studying history is important so that we understand where we came from and what we are made of. But most importantly, so we that we don’t repeat our past mistakes and genocides. I see the current movement to erase history as a huge set-back for mankind. Only a fool ignores their mistakes and blindly moves forward not learning from our history.

5. What is your favorite period or aspect of history to learn about and why?

I have now written 5 Historical Fiction books about war, SOLDIER, SPY, HEROINE (Civil War); THE REVOLUTION: Captain, Pirate, Heroine; THE REVOLUTION II: Seer, Spy, Heroine (Revolutionary War); A DREAM OF DEMOCRACY (WWII); BACK OFF I’M A DALTON (Korean War) and I have to say that I find the Revolutionary War period the most powerful. Not only that the Patriots sacrificed so much to fight for what they believed in, but because it was the start of the American Navy and it launched the Merchant Marine Industry into the future, turning what was considered piracy, into legal privateering. Not to mention that it fostered the founding of our country.

6. You and your writing partner have written 3 titles in a series of books called “Secret Heroines.”  Who are they and why are their stories important to tell? 

I believe that Debra has provided a better description of these 3 amazing women, Sarah Emma Edmonds, Fanny Campbell, and Moll (Mary) Pitcher, than I ever could. These 3 brave women served a great cause and should never have been left out of American History. Although, no one knows for sure the true identity of Fanny Campbell from the original 1840s book, her character has served to inspire and free women around the world to pursue their dreams.

7. You are an historical writer and a screenwriter.  How do the two fields complement each other?

Due to the fact that I started as a screenwriter, as did Nicholas Sparks, I write my books based on screenplay format as did Sparks. This system has never failed me and we are well aware of Sparks’ success. In fact, when I decided the write WEST OF THE EQUATOR, I went to Hawaii alone on vacation and locked myself in my room with a copy of THE HORSE WHISPERER and many pads of paper. Then I read and wrote long hand for a week. When I left, I had 8 finished chapters of my book that I never changed other than corrections. So, I can honestly say that Nicholas Sparks taught me how to write a novel as did my professor at American Film Institute who taught me script structure.

Ultimately, every time I write a book my ultimate goal is to see it on the screen, either big or small. Unfortunately, not that many people read books anymore, so for them to learn more about our history, film and TV are the best mediums to convey information about our mistakes and successes throughout history. 

Since my film literary agent passed away a few years ago I am currently talking to one of his partners about moving forward with our new books, which we have already adapted for television. I also still write directly for film and TV and have a few new TV series in the works.